


Come What May

by Thistletwit



Series: War Never Changes [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Angst, First War with Voldemort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Mpreg, Violence, Werewolf Culture, mention of rape
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-11-16 11:12:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18093227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thistletwit/pseuds/Thistletwit
Summary: Remus and Sirius begin a tumultuous relationship. For better or worse, they're in this together. Who else could handle them? Certainly not James.The First Wizarding War is brewing on the horizon.((This is an edited summary. I've removed the Snape portion due to some plot changes. I also changed the ages a bit, to save myself and you too. The plot has gone places. Dark places.)





	1. In for a Penny

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, guys!
> 
> So, this is my first fic on here...I hope you guys like it! I do hope I've tagged it enough! I want to make sure that people aren't caught off guard by any of the content. I know a lot of people don't like Mpreg, so I hope this is okay! It doesn't happen until toward the end. 
> 
> Let me know how you like it so far! This will be part one of a two-part thing!

_Year Six_

 

                “So that’s what you’ve been hiding.” James said, leaning in with his hands clasped. “To be honest, Remus, Pete thought you might be a serial killer.”

                Peter blanched, slapping James on the arm. “I did not! Well…I might have, for a brief moment.”

                Remus was silent, deflating back deeper into the armchair he was currently sitting in. Sirius was perched on the arm, also remaining silent. Finally, the dark-haired boy spoke, turning his head to look at Remus.

                “You could have told us sooner.” He said, putting his hand on Remus’s shoulder. “There’s no harm in it. Not like you have any control over it.”

                “That’s what I was afraid of. Not having any control over it. You know…the wolf.” Remus said, rubbing his hands on his slacks nervously. “I promised myself when I knew I was coming to Hogwarts that I wouldn’t make any friends. That way I would be in less of a position to hurt people.”

                “That’s bullocks.” James said, clapping Remus on the knee, leaning forward on the couch. “Everyone needs friends. And you, my furry friend, are a Marauder. And we stick together. Right?” He looked first at Sirius and then at Peter. Peter nodded, and Sirius pumped his fist in the air.

                Remus relaxed a bit, but then winced at the nickname. “James, don’t-“

                “That’s what we’re going to call it. Your ‘furry little secret’. Not that it’s much of a problem. Not for us, anyway. And everyone else can piss off.” James said, matter-of-fact in his demeanor. Sirius stood suddenly, turning to look at Remus full on.

                “What you should really be worried about is how tall you’ve gotten since we saw you last. Summer brought a growth-spurt, eh?” He chided, pulling Remus to his feet. He still only came to Sirius’s collar bones, but last term he had barely made it to the other boy’s shoulder. He heard James laugh.

                “Pete’s still the shortest, and I don’t see that changing!”

                “Hey!”

XXX

                “You blokes go on. I’ll stay with him.” Sirius said, looking over his should at James and Peter. He was sitting in a wooden chair beside a bed in the hospital wing. It was early in the morning after the first full moon since Remus had told the boys about his lycanthropy. Remus was laying in the hospital bed, curled up on his side. A new, red, angry scar was visible on his shoulder, wrapping around down his side.

                “You sure, Sirius? You didn’t sleep at all last night. You had a light on.” James said. Sirius nodded, looking back at the unconscious Remus.

                “Yeah. S’Alright. Someone should be here when he gets up. Besides, Evans would miss you making cow-eyes at her over breakfast. She hasn’t started her morning without that since first year.” He teased.

                James smiled, rolling his eyes. “Alright, Sirius. Always the devoted friend.” James’ eyes lingered between Remus and Sirius, narrowing just a bit before he turned and grabbed Peter’s elbow, pulling the curtain closed behind him as they left.

                Sirius turned back to Remus. The boy looked very small and very vulnerable, laying there in that bed. Sirius didn’t like it. It’s not that his friend was usually anything but quiet, but seeing him like this was…well, it was awful.

                “You went through this alone?” Sirius said to the sleeping Remus. “All this time, one of us could have been with you. I could have been with you, you know I sleep for shit anyway.” He swallowed, leaning out to trace an old, silver scar on Remus’ jaw. That’s how the secret eventually came out. Remus, who always changed in private, had come out of the bathroom in just a towel when he thought the rest of his dormmates had gone to breakfast. Sirius was there, sitting on his bed and waiting for his friend. The first shock had been Remus’ state of undress. He was always more than a little shy and had blushed profusely. Then, he realized that Sirius had full view of the scars criss-crossing his torso. The scars on his jaw and neck had been easy to write off. Shaving for the first time, falling, usual boy stuff. But these? The sheer amount of them, the seriousness of some of the keloids that had formed…

                Sirius shook his head, breaking himself from the memory.

                “We’ll have to think of something, Remus, because going through this alone isn’t working. You must tear yourself to pieces, being alone out there. I don’t know what we’ll do, but we’ll figure it out. Together.”

 

 

XXX

 

                “Does the wolf…you know…is it an omega, too?” Peter asked, breaking the relative silence in the common room. The four boys were studying, which consisted of Peter and Remus doing homework and James and Sirius flicking paper squares at each other.

                Remus’ head snapped up. “What?” He asked, wondering if he heard his friend correctly. Peter winced.

                “You know. You’re an omega, right? Does that mean the wolf is too? Or is it different? Like there must be some part of you in there with it.” Peter clarified.

                Remus felt all of their eyes on him. He closed his book, his shoulders shrinking in. “I, uh…I don’t actually know. I’m, well…I haven’t presented yet. Like I have some of the basic, you know, responses and stuff. But I don’t think I’ll know until I, you know, go through the change.”

                “But I thought you did change every full moon?” Peter said, and James shoved him toward the arm of the couch.

                “He means his first heat.” James said, causing Remus’ ears to get hot. It was weird to hear his friends talk about this kind of stuff, especially when it was in reference to him. He was the only omega in the group. Peter was a beta, which made him a bit oblivious to the dynamics that the other boys were more than familiar with. James and Sirius were both alphas, which was apparent when their banter would turn into a rough-and-tumble show for dominance. They kept score, of course, keeping the record on a charmed piece of parchment.

                But Remus’ heat was something private. His parents had been hush-hush about matters like that. They were prim in that regard, and Remus had grown up a bit ashamed of his social positioning. Add being a werewolf on top of that and you had the perfect mix for low self-esteem.

                “But you can scent and stuff, right? We can all do that, right off the bat. Even Pete.” James said, causing Peter to perk up.

                “Yes, I can. And my nose is a bit more sensitive than yours would be. I know that. What with the wolf. But the other stuff…I don’t know.”

                “You’re due though, aren’t you?” Sirius finally chimed in, eyes trained on Remus. “I mean, other omegas in our grade are going through it, you remember the lecture we had.”

                The other three boys cringed at the memory. All of the third and fourth years, gathered in the History of Magic classroom, being lectured on their changing bodies. Remus had been mortified. James and Sirius had snickered their way through it. Peter seemed lost.

                “I don’t know!” Remus squeaked, grabbing for his book. “Change of topic, please!”

                Sirius’ eyes lingered on Remus for few moments longer, and James noticed.

 

XXX

 

When James woke up, he could smell it. Remus, but sweeter. Stronger. He pulled back his curtain, and saw Sirius standing at the foot of Remus’ bed. He hadn’t moved the curtains, but he was standing there, stock-still, his hands fisted at his sides.

James looked around for Peter. He must have left for breakfast already. James’ eyes snapped back to Sirius.

“Oy!” James called out in a sharp whisper. “Let’s leave him to it. Come on, mate, you’re being a creep. It’s Remus. We’ll tell Peter to stay clear of the room until tonight.”

“Should he really be alone? It’s his first heat.” Sirius voice was heavy. James was taken aback. Sirius couldn’t mean what he thought he did…

“If you’re worried about someone coming in, we can lock the door. Tell McGonagall. We should probably have a teacher come by, anyway.” James said, standing.

“So he can spend another night alone in the infirmary?” Sirius snapped. He still wasn’t looking at James.

“I can hear you.” Came Remus’ soft voice through the curtains. It was breathy, labored.

“Oh, you’re awake.” Sirius’ voice was a bit lighter toned when talking to Remus. “Are you-what do you need?”

“I’d rather not talk about what I need.” Remus squeaked. “I think we all know. But I’m not…I don’t know.”

“I know what you need.” Sirius replied, and James stood up quickly.

“Alright! Enough of this, Sirius, come on!” James grabbed Sirius by the elbow but the taller boy pulled away, growling. He squared his shoulders in a show of dominance, and James’ hackles were raised immediately.

“Sirius, come on. This is _Remus_. You’re being a fucking _creep_.” James tried to push him toward the door, but Sirius shoved him back. James threw his hands up.

“You know I’m not a rat, but I’m getting McGonagall.” James said.

“James, I would be so embarrassed.” Remus called from behind his curtains. “Just…go. It’ll be fine, just go.”

James’ eves widened. “Remus, I really don’t think I should leave you alone. You know…with Sirius.” He pressed. James heard Remus shift in his sheets, huffing.

“I said it’s…f-fine. I know what I’m…James, just _go_.” Remus pleaded. James shook his head, giving Sirius one last look before heading to the door.

Once Sirius heard the click of the door, he moved to the side of Remus’ bed and pulled the curtain aside. Remus was in his boxers, laying on his back, fists clenching on the covers.

“It…hurts. Sirius, it hurts. Wh-what is this?” He whined, shaking his head. “Damn it, I know what it is. B-But no one warned me it would feel like this.”

“I know.” Sirius got on his knees on the bed at Remus’ feet, putting his hands on the other boy’s knees. “They don’t warn you.” Sirius inhaled through his nose deeply, taking in the almost sickly-sweet scent of Remus’ heat. He’d caught scent of other omega’s heats before, but Remus’ made his head spin. The smell had woken him up from his sleep, entangling him and all but enticing him to get up and stand by Remus’ bed.

“Can you…can you help? Isn’t it better to be…you know…with an alpha? Safer, or…something?” Remus’ skin was flush, his cheeks red and eyes blown out, almost nothing but pupil. “I know we’re not…we haven’t…”

“Shh.” Sirius soothed, rubbing Remus’ knees, down his thighs. Remus’ shuddered. “I’ve been…keeping an eye on you. James noticed. I was always a bit more protective of you than I am of the others.”

“Just because I’m the only o-omega in the group. James doesn’t need protecting, neither does Peter. You just f-feel…bad for me.” Remus said, his hips shifting.

“Not quite.” Sirius quipped, squeezing the thighs under his hands. Remus’ breath became more labored. “It’s a bit more than that. A bit more.”

Sirius pushed Remus’ legs apart and leaned down into the other boy, pushing their chests together. Remus was about to object to the sudden closeness but his protest was cut short when Sirius buried his face in Remus’ neck, inhaling his strong scent.

“Sirius? Are you going to…” He trailed off as his best friend began mouthing his neck, right over the spot where a bond mark would be. Remus shuddered.

He couldn’t deny that the pressure of Sirius’ body was exactly what he seemed to need. His panic receded of its own accord. Sirius smelled amazing. Strong and protective. Heady. But this was Sirius, his best friend. His head was swimming.

“All I’m going to do is help you, Remus. Going to help you through this.” He pulled away, and Remus involuntary whined. Sirius chuckled, using the other boys knees to lift himself up again to a kneeling position. “Switch places with me.” He directed, pulling Remus up. Remus complied and Sirius positioned himself sitting up against Remus’ headboard.

“What are we going to do?” Remus asked, nervously wrapping his arms around himself. Sirius patted his lap.

“Come here. Sit facing me.” He said. Remus hesitated but eventually crawled forward, straddling Sirius’ lap. His cheeks reddened even more as he realized that not only was his erection visible through his thin boxers, but his backside was slick with his heat. He didn’t want anyone seeing him like this. He squeezed his eyes shut and he settled in Sirius’ lap.

“Hey. Hey, come on, Remus. Open your eyes. It’s okay. It’s natural.” Sirius soothed. He put his hands on Remus’ hips, pulling him closer before pushing him back a bit. Remus’ eyes flew open.

“Sirius, th-that-“

“Feels good, yeah?” Sirius said, licking his lips. He did it again, rocking Remus’ hips, pushing his own up to meet his. Remus’ mouth fell open.

“Just keep doing it.” Sirius said, his hands massaging Remus’ hips. Remus did as he was told, rocking back and forth under the guidance of Sirius’ hands.

He was overwhelmed. This was Sirius. His best friend. But the feeling was beyond anything he’d experienced. Sirius’ hands were strong, his scent was stronger…he could feel himself being pulled hard by his instincts. He’d never really indulged in them before, hadn’t felt the need to. Now, though…now he was conflicted. He was ready to give in. But this was _Sirius_.

“I-I don’t think we should be doing this.” Remus stuttered through his words, eyes cast down to the side of the room. “This is…th-this is too intimate and we’re-“

Sirius wrapped one of his hands around Remus’ neck and pulled him down, burying his face once again against the other boys neck.

“Who better to take care of you? Let me do this. Let me help you.” Sirius whispered against the skin of Remus’ neck. Remus’ breath hitched at the feeling.

“But we aren’t…” He began.

“Aren’t what? Together?” He asked, pulling back a bit to look into Remus’ eyes. They were still grinding their hips together. “Seems like it now, hm? I feel the same way about you that James feels about Evans. Protective. Possessive. Wouldn’t let anyone hurt you. This just…solidifies that. For me at least.”

Remus pulled back, stilling his hips. Sirius frowned, swallowing thickly.

“If you don’t feel the same, tell me now, Remus. I’ll…leave, go get a teacher, whatever you need.” He rested his hands against Remus’ thighs again.

“I-It’s just…” It was hard to have this conversation while he was sitting in Sirius’ lap, on the brink of full-blown heat. “It’s all sudden. And I-“ He stopped, looking down at his body, his shame. Look what his biology was forcing him to do. _Weak. Pathetic_.

“Hey. Hey.” Sirius reached up and cupped Remus’ face with both of his hands. “Just let me take care of you. We’ll get through this and parcel it out on the other side, hm? You’re in no state to make decisions-“

“But this is a decision!” He snapped. “A big one! I don’t know how long I can hang on. I-It’s like…it feels like before I change on the full moon. I have no control over this, it’s pulling me down…”

“That’s why I want to be here. You shouldn’t have to go through this alone. You’ll be in agony.” Sirius began to rub Remus’ thighs again, slowly, massaging the flesh under his hands. Remus sighed, shifting against Sirius. He could feel Sirius hard beneath him.

Suddenly, Remus felt overwhelmed by Sirius’ scent. It was different from before. It filled his head. Strong. Heavy. _Alpha_. His eyes rolled back and he gripped Sirius’ wrists tightly.

“Is it starting?” Sirius asked. Remus just shuddered. Was this it? Was this the start of his heat? Was this what happened to all other omega? He felt his self-control fall away. He almost felt drunk, cross-eyed and helpless. Remus opened his mouth to speak but all that came out was a whine. He would have felt shame if he’d had room for it, but all he could think was _alpha, submit, need_.

He fell forward, burying his face in Sirius’ neck, nipping and biting at his jaw. This was raw instinct. It was like his body knew what to do, even if his mind didn’t. Sirius buried one hand in Remus’ dirty blond hair while the other slid down his back to the base of his spine. He flipped them, pinning Remus on his back, where he knew he wanted to be. Remus whined again, eyes rolling back in his head once more.

Remus felt some relief once he was on his back, Sirius heavy on top of him, the alpha’s scent covering him. He breathed it in deeply before continuing to lick and bit at Sirius’ jaw.

It was all Sirius could do to refrain from taking things too far. He knew this would pass. An hour at most, if not a bit more. He didn’t want to scare Remus. He did, genuinely, want to help him. And he knew this would. He presence, his touch, his scent. Remus needed it. He knew the licking and biting instinct immediately. A show of reverence. Remus was also scenting him, marking him and his clothes and his hair. He knew it would linger for days, but he found himself not minding at all. What Remus did next, however, almost made him lose his composure.

The boy beneath him turned his head to the side, baring his neck to Sirius. Kissing it before was nothing. But this? This show of submissiveness, of offering? Sirius couldn’t help but bear his teeth. He reached down and turned Remus’ face so they were eye to eye, and he saw panic there. But Sirius had to refuse the offering. Remus was in full throw of his heat now, and Sirius refused to take advantage.

“Please?” Remus’ voice was small and raspy. “You wanted to help me. Help me!”

He bared his neck again, arching his back. Sirius felt a growl rise in his throat. It would be easy. And Remus was so willing…

He shook his head. His instincts were starting to take over as well, likely a cause of Remus’ pheromones. James’ words played back in his head, _Come on, it’s_ Remus _!,_ but isn’t that why he was doing this? This was Remus. Remus could be his. Remus _was_ his…

He bent forward and quickly sank his teeth into the flesh of Remus’ neck. The sound Remus made was unearthly. A heady mix between a moan and cry. The omega arched his back again, his fingers digging into Sirius’ back. Sirius ground his hips down, pinning Remus further, causing him to clamor. He wrapped his legs around Sirius’ waist.

Sirius’ mind went wild. A bond was a promise. A month long commitment. But what was a month? Especially with Remus.

 _Remus, Remus_. The name went around in his mind like a hurricane. He licked over the mark he had made. They were in this now. In for penny, in for a pound. He pulled away, and Remus whined, but Sirius made quick work. He slipped his pajama pants off, tossing them onto the foot of the bed. His cock, now free, stood up flush against his stomach. Remus stared, as if in awe. He’d seen Sirius naked before, but this was different.

“Sirius. Yes…need you.” He couldn’t string words together, but he didn’t need to. The bond made it easier to do this, it seemed, and all of Remus’ protestations were gone.

Sirius peeled off Remus’ boxers, noticing how soaked they were. He threw them down to join his pajama bottoms, and wasted no further time.

Remus was open and ready from his heat. Sirius was running on instinct. He’d never gotten this far, sure he’d had some awkward hand jobs after a house party, but this? This was beyond his realm of expertise. But he knew what he needed to do now.

XXX


	2. Monsters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus succumbs to madness.   
> Sirius has his hands full. 
> 
> Trigger warning: Blood, Angst, Violent Sex. Therapeutic Violence. Mentions of rape/non-con

“You should eat more.” Sirius said, eyeing Remus’ mostly-full plate. It was dinner the same day. The boys sat beside each other, James and Peter across from them. James seemed resigned.

“You’re fussing.” Remus replied, moving roasted potatoes around on his plate with his fork.

“You hardly ever eat. You’re wasting away.”

“Who’s idea was it to bond?” Peter deadpanned. James scowled.

“My guess is Sirius. He was standing at the foot of Remus’ bed like a stalker. Practically forced me out of the room.” James said. Sirius rolled his eyes.

“Jamie here wanted to get a _teacher_ of all things. I knew what I was doing.” Sirius quipped, squaring his shoulders.

“Can you three not talk about me like I’m not here?” Remus snapped, slamming his silverware down. “It happened. Heat of the moment thing. We just have to wait the month out and it will be over.”

Sirius fixed Remus with a stare, his mouth crooked.

“Don’t make it sound like…like that. Like I said, I knew what I was doing. I wanted this. I wasn’t completely without my faculties.” He said in a low voice.

“Yes, well, I _was_. It was all a blur. Now you’re going to fuss over my eating habits like my _mother_? I’m not an invalid. I’m not a…I don’t need you to take care of me!”

“That’s all he’s going to want to do, Moony.” James chimed in. “It’s just the natural order of things.”

“Oh, look at you.” Remus glared at James. “Alphas really do stick together, don’t they?” he hissed.

Lily had overheard everything. She stood from her seat to the left of Sirius and moved to stand behind Remus, putting her hand on his shoulder.

“Remus, could I borrow you for a second?” She asked softly. James immediately squared his shoulders, but Lily shot him a glare before he had a chance to speak.

“Not now, Potter.” She growled. James deflated.

“It’s none of your-“ Sirius began, but Lily fixed him with an intense glare that made him shut his mouth. Remus stood stiffly, and let himself be steered away from the table and out into the hallway.

“Tell me what happened.” Lily said, eyeing Remus with a look of concern on her face. Remus took a deep breath.

“I had my first heat this morning.” He began. “Sirius…was adamant about helping me. One thing lead to another. We bonded.”

“Did you have sex?” Lily deadpanned. Remus flinched.

“Erm…yeah. We did. I don’t…I don’t really remember much. But now he’s, god, he’s all over me. He won’t leave me alone. He’s fussing about my eating habits, he’s always touching me. It’s been six hours. I can’t imagine going through this for another twenty-eight days.” Remus sighed, resigned to his fate.

“He seems…serious about it. Like he’d want to do it again. Do you not feel the same?” She asked. Remus shook his head.

“It’s not because it’s Sirius. I just don’t like the attention. I don’t like being fussed over. Am I supposed to?” He asked. Lily always seemed to know everything. She had coached him through so much, and he relied on her for answers. She nodded.

“Yeah. I mean…instincts take over. Give it a few days. I could tell him to lay off, but it’s not that simple. James and Sirius…they’re textbook Alphas. He’s going to want to protect you. The fussing is just a by-product of that. He’ll cool off. At least, I hope he will.” She explained. “I’m one hundred percent sure he fancied you before this. Just the way he looked at you, you know?”

“He mentioned something to that effect. Said he was protective over me like James is to you.” Remus said. Lily scoffed.

“James is…” She trailed off. “Well, we all know how I feel about James. I don’t think it’s a good comparison, but it’s probably the only one Sirius could think of.” She rolled her eyes, before putting her hands on his shoulders. The solid weight and the presence of another Omega seemed to calm him.

“Listen. Do I think the bonding was a bad idea? Yeah, it very well could be. But it happened. Ride it out. Maybe…let him do some fussing. See how you like it. Sometimes it’s easier if you just…let go. I know it sounds daft coming from me, but you and I have different biology as well. I’m a different sort of Omega.” She explained.

“What do you mean?” Remus asked, eyes questioning.

“You’re…you’ve always been diminutive. Hey! I’m not insulting you!” She said as he narrowed his eyes. ‘What I’m saying is, you’re naturally submissive.”

“Aren’t all Omega?” He seemed put off. Lily shook her head.

“There are varying degrees. You and I are on different ends of the spectrum. I’m definitely _not_ saying it’s a bad thing. But, you might like it. Lean into it.”

“That’s your advice? _Lean into it_?” Remus snapped. He felt tears well in his eyes.

Almost as if on cue, Sirius swept into the hallway. “Remus? Hey, I’m sorry.” He said softly, ignoring Lily’s warning glance. Lily stepped back away from Remus, allowing Sirius to put a hand on the shorter boy’s shoulder.

“I was being overbearing.” Sirius said.

“Yes, you were. And I’d appreciate it if you left me alone.” He snapped. Sirius pulled his hand away.

‘I…yeah. If that’s what you want, I’ll do it.” His voice was strained. Lily saw a look on Sirius’ face she’d never seen before. A deep frown, concerned eyes.

Remus was walking away, in the direction of the library, and Sirius took a step after him before stopping.

“Fuck.” He muttered.

Lily stood beside him. “He’s…He’ll come around. It’s new for him. If it helps, I agree. He never eats enough.”

Sirius just nodded.

XXX

The air in the Gryffindor common room was tense. The Marauders were all sitting together in their customary seats near the big bay window, but James and Peter separated Sirius and Remus. Sirius was actually studying, or so it seemed. He’d been staring at the same page in his Astronomy textbook for over an hour.

He wanted to be beside Remus. He wanted to hold him, breathe him in. His fingers twitched.

“How’s that essay coming along, Moony?” James asked, desperate to break the awkward silence. Remus didn’t look up.

“Fine.” Remus replied curtly.

“Cos I was thinking, maybe you could help me with mine. I always cock up my History of Magic essays. Binn’s lectures are all over the place. I don’t know how you keep such accurate notes.” He went on. Remus, again, didn’t look up.

“I don’t sleep through class.” He quipped, quill scribbling furiously.

Peter shifted in his seat. “Maybe we could all work on it together?”

Remus did look up this time. “I’m almost finished, and I don’t feel like going through the material again. You’re on your own. In fact, I’m going to bed.”

“Moony, it’s only seven-“

“I didn’t ask permission. Or did I need to? Is that some unspoken rule, as well?” He snapped, standing, shoving his essay, quill and inkpot into his bag.

“Oi!” James held his hands up. “We didn’t do anything to you! Your issue is with Sirius, not us! And, if you haven’t noticed, he’s been perfectly silent this whole time!”

Sirius remained silent. He didn’t look up from his textbook. His shoulders, however, were extremely tense.

Remus snapped.

“My issue is with you, too, James! You left me alone with him!”

James shook his head. “Moony, _you_ told me to! You said everything was alright!”

“I wasn’t in my right mind! You should have known that, since you Alphas _always_ seem to know what’s best! And you _left_ me there!” Remus growled.

James turned his head to look at Sirius. His eyes were wide, staring unseeingly at his textbook, knuckles white as he clutched it.

“Remus, mate, you’re not used to these hormones, I think it’s-“ James began, but was cut off when Remus threw his bag on the ground.

“ _Stop fucking talking about my fucking hormones!”_ He growled. “If I hear one more god damned thing about my hormones, I’m going to _lose_ it.”

“I think you are losing it.” Peter squeaked.

“Fuck you, Peter! Fuck _all_ of you. You left me with him, James. He _manipulated_ me! He got what he wanted! And now, I’m stuck with _this_!” Remus spat, pulling his collar down to expose his bond mark. “ _Marked_ , like I’m his fucking property!”

Sirius sat forward, his breath leaving him in a sharp exhale. James noticed his best friend’s hands were shaking. He moved to put his hand on Sirius’ shoulder, but the other boy jerked away.

James shook his head, standing.

“All this because he asked you to _eat?_ We’ve all gotten on you about that. Even Evans.” James was raising his voice now, causing some first years at the next table to scatter.

“I don’t need to be told what do! I had my control _taken_ from me by my own bloody biology! By my own friend! I don’t even have any control over what I _eat_!” Remus was fuming.

“I was just worried about you.” Sirius finally spoke. His voice was quiet. He shut his book.

“Oh, like you were _worried_ about me this morning? You weren’t so worried when you had your cock up my arse!” Remus voice was nothing but malice now. James could smell the extent of Remus’ hormones. They were coming off him in waves. Remus was lashing out. Looking to cause pain. He snapped at them before the Full, but never like this.

“You’re saying things you’re going to regret, mate.” James warned.

“The only thing I regret is this!” He put his hand over the bond mark. “As if I needed another scar to ashamed of!”

James was dumbstruck.

Sirius was standing now, keeping James between them. He looked sick.

“It won’t scar.” He said quietly. “The more I stay away, the quicker it’ll heal. I’ll kip in the Room of Requirement, okay? I’m sure I wouldn’t be the first.” His voice was soft. “I’ll talk to McGonagall. Tell her what I did.”

“Sirius, you didn’t _do_ anything.” James said, but Sirius held his hand up.

“I obviously did. I lost control. And I hurt Remus.” He finally lifted his eyes to look a Remus properly. “I know it doesn’t change what I did, but I didn’t mean it. Not like that.”

“Now you’re going to play the martyr?” Remus rolled his eyes. “Give it up. At least own up to what you did.”

“I am.” Sirius said.

It was James’ turn to snap.

“No. No! This is _not_ happening. Either you two go upstairs and work this out, or…I don’t know. Upstairs. Now.” He growled.

“I won’t be-“ Remus began, but James cut him off.

“I swear to Merlin, Remus. We’ve been with you through _everything_ , no judgement, no questions asked. Sirius would _die_ for you. We all would. So, go upstairs, and figure this out. Peter and I will stay down here until one or both of you come back down. Even if it takes all night. Just _go_.”

Remus puffed up his chest but turned on his heel, marching up the stairs to the dorms. They heard a door slam.

Sirius shook his head. “Can’t go up there.” He said.

James put a hand on his shoulder. “Sirius, it’s his hormones. He didn’t mean what he said. Come on…just…go talk with him. Throw things, whatever. Just work it out. I know how you feel about him, okay? Subtlety isn’t your forte.”

“I really didn’t mean to…hurt him. I thought I was doing the right thing.”

“You need to tell him that. Be honest with him. Just…don’t forget a silencing charm, okay? We don’t need the whole house to hear what’s going on.”

Sirius took the steps up to the dorms one at a time.

XXX

Sirius knocked on the door to the dorm room. There was no answer, but he pushed the door open anyway, stepping inside.

“Moony?” He called out, before settling his eyes on Remus, who was standing beside the window between their beds.

“James is daft. I don’t have anything to say to you that I haven’t already.” Remus snapped.

Sirius pressed his back against the closed door, blinking slowly.

“James said I should be honest. I’ve wanted you for a long time. Since last year. Remember? When we fell asleep on the couch when you were trying to help me with my Transfiguration essay?” Sirius said. “We fit. You fit so perfectly in my arms, just lying there. Could’ve stayed like that for hours.”

“Save it.” Remus growled.

“Or coming to see you first thing after the Full. Having to pretend we weren’t out all night running with you. Like we weren’t the ones who brought you there in the first place.” Sirius went on, daring to step closer. “I always want to take care of you. You’re precious to me, Remus. What happened…it was me giving myself to you as much as it was you giving yourself to me.”

“I didn’t _give_ myself to you.” He hissed. “You _took_ what you wanted.”

“Is that really how you feel?” Sirius asked.

Remus nodded. “Yes.”

Sirius took a shaky breath. “Did I rape you?”

Remus blanched. “What?”

“Remus, did I rape you? I thought you…I thought it was okay. You kissed me, you held onto me. If I took the signals wrong, if you didn’t want it…if you weren’t in the right mind to consent-“ his shoulders slumped. “I mean it. I’ll turn myself in.”

Remus clenched his fists. “You didn’t…rape me. I just didn’t know what I was doing. It all felt good from what I can remember. But…I hate feeling like this! I’m ready to tear my hair out! I feel like I want to scream! I want to throw things, hit something…I feel like the wolf, but I’m awake! It’s me that wants to do those things!”

Sirius stepped forward again, eyeing Remus carefully. “You can hit me. You can throw things at me.” He held his arms out. “Take it out on me.”

“Sirius…fuck!” He growled, slamming his fist on the bedside stand they shared.

“Come on, Moony.” He approached him now, closing the space between them. Remus caught Sirius scent and growled. Before Sirius could register what was happening, Remus tackled him, knocking them both backward.

Remus was swinging and scratching, and Sirius couldn’t help but be reminded of the play fighting that went on between Padfoot and the wolf. Sirius instinctively put up a struggle, but Remus managed to keep the Alpha on his back. When the onslaught ceased, Remus saw Sirius bare his neck. A clear sign of submission.

Remus saw his opportunity and bit down hard at the junction of Sirius’ shoulder and neck. His teeth pierced the flesh there. His mouth filled with blood. Sirius took it all in stride, managing to keep his scream from erupting from his throat. He fisted the carpet beneath him.

Remus sat up quickly. Sirius gazed at him, face covered in his blood, eyes crazed. The madness within had come to the surface. Sirius reached up to wipe his thumb across the blood on Remus’ chin, before rubbing it across the boy’s lower lip. Remus’ tongue darted out to lick it.

“How do you feel now?” Sirius asked, shivering as a rivulet of blood dripped back from his neck to his shoulder blade.

“Like I want to tear your throat out.” Remus replied, licking his lips once more.

“You want to kill me?”

“Yes.”

“Right here? On the floor of our dorm?” Sirius’ voice was low.

“Yes. Right here. Tear your throat out and leave you for dead.” He got dangerously close to Sirius’ face. “Let James find you. Might take him down a peg. Let him know I won’t be controlled.”

“You like to lose control, don’t you, Remus? You’re done bottling it up. Let it out. Do it.”

Remus reached out and smeared the blood from the wound up Sirius’ neck, wrapping his hand around Sirius’ windpipe. Sirius licked his lips.

“I’m going to put you on your back.” He warned.

“Please.”

Sirius flipped them, pining Remus to the floor with his hips. Remus looked crazed. Sirius’ blood was staining his mouth and chin.

“You need to be controlled. You’re out of your mind.” Sirius growled.

“Yes.”

“That’s why you fight it so hard. You can’t control yourself. You need someone to do it for you.”

“Yes.”

“You think you have everyone fooled. That you’re a meek little thing, always doing his work, always quiet, polite, respectful. But you’re not. You’re a liar. You’re a _monster_. A little fucking _monster_.” Sirius leaned down and licked the blood from Remus’ chin.

“If you were any kind of Alpha, you’d be able to control me. But there you were, shaking like a leaf, letting me scream at you. Apologizing. Pathetic. You’re pathetic.” Remus hissed.

“I wasn’t pathetic this morning, was I? Pounding into you, and you were _begging_ for it. On your back, spread out for me like a whore.”

Remus whined, bucking his hips.

“Who else could control you, Remus? Who else would be able to do this? Watch you lose yourself like this? You’ve got my blood all over your face, lapping it up like a dog. Like a _wolf_ after a fresh kill.” Sirius grabbed Remus’ chin, forcing the other boy to look at him. “All of this and I still want you. Still want to lay with you. Laugh with you. Nothing is different, is it? This was always there, lurking under the surface.”

Remus wrapped his hand around Sirius’ wrist, pulling it from his chin, kissing the palm of his hand, licking and sucking the fingers into his mouth.

Sirius pulled away, standing. He stood over Remus, looking down at him before pressing his foot to the other boy’s chest. Remus didn’t struggle. He rubbed his hands up and down Sirius’ calf. Sirius bent down and hauled Remus up by his shirt, manhandling him onto his bed. He pushed him face down onto the mattress, his hips in air.

There was blood on his duvet now. He pulled Remus’ trousers and pants down around his knees. He was slick again. Sirius didn’t know if it was from his words, the blood, or the manhandling. Maybe it was all three. He didn’t care.

He freed his cock from the confines of his own trousers, and without warning he breached Remus with a snap of his hips. Remus cried out sharply, clawing at the covers, pushing back against Alpha behind him.


End file.
